Narrow Road

You can’t make the narrow road wider. My husband said this to me the other week when we were talking about Matthew 7:13-14, the verse Pastor Bryon discussed on Sunday:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

You can’t make it wider. We keep trying though, don’t we? If I am honest, before God led me into this season of consecration to Him, I wanted to. I wanted certain sins to be acceptable in His sight. I wanted to believe that sinful things of the culture were maybe ok now, even though I knew they weren’t. I gave into my flesh more often than not. It's easy to live according to the flesh. Certainly, easier than crucifying it, I thought. The wide road is more comfortable, more room there...right?

In my delusion...it felt easier. Now I’m not talking about years ago when I was living a less than holy life, I’m talking about months ago. I’m talking about a married mother of two, who went to church on Sunday, was in at least two lifegroups a year, sang my worship music throughout the day and read my Bible here and there at night. I had wonderful Christian women in my life, and from the outside it didn’t look like I was pleasing the flesh. I looked like a “good Christian,” and it was easy. Not too much commitment, but I felt pretty good about myself.

Yet, I was so lost. Constantly jumping back from the narrow to the wide and half asleep to what was happening in the spirit. The fact is, I was so deep in bondage to fear and anxiety, and I didn’t even realize the gravity of it. In my normal day to day life it wasn’t bad, but anytime I was going to step out of my comfort zone-- by, say, getting on an airplane, or leaving my kids for a night-- the fear would overtake me. I started to notice things the Lord would want me to do I was now too afraid to do. The spirit of fear had found a home in me, and I let it grow stronger and stronger for years.

But I was lazy. Instead of putting on my armor and co-partnering with the Lord for victory over this, I sat and watched mindless TV at night. Instead of warring in worship, I busied myself with things. Instead of fasting and laying before the Lord, aching for his spirit to speak, I would get on the phone and talk about my problems to someone. It was easier! That road is easier! But guys, my burden was SO heavy!

A heavy burden on an easy road doesn't make for great living. A light burden (Matthew 11) on a narrow road, sounds a lot better doesn't it? 

It wasn’t until I began to fervently seek the Lord that he began to reveal the strongholds in my life: the heavy burden I had piled onto myself; the spiritual oppression running rampant in my life; the unrenouced sin; the glorification of my youthful wickedness; the pride; the constant leaning on my own understanding...I could keep going here guys...but you get the picture, I was a hot mess. The worst part was, I didn’t even know it!

It took a sickness that no one could fix to grip my attention and make me crawl in desperation back onto that narrow path. A path of cleansing, a path of supernatural moves of the Holy Spirit, a path that as I continue to walk down my burdens fall off one by one from my back onto His.

Now at night, instead of TV, my husband and I spend hours in prayer and worship. With faces to the floor we sit and wait to hear the Spirit of the Lord speak. We are constantly filling our minds with truth from the Word because everything else is just noise. It’s not easy! Some days I don’t feel like it. Some days I don’t want to do things God is telling me to do. Some days I don’t even feel like being nice to people (I’m a work in progress guys), but this path, it might be narrow, it might crucify your flesh, it might go against everything the world is saying, but man, the air is nice over here and the grass is much greener. The load is light and there is freedom on this side. I still have a long way to go, I mean my foot is just about a yard onto the path, but I am never going back. Once you are truly following His lead down this path of life and now hearing His voice call you to keep going, how could you?

by Lisa Duvall
Lisa has been attending Kingsway and serving on the prayer team since she moved to South Jersey in 2015. She is a freelance writer and former television reporter who now gets to spend her days at home with her two small children. Lisa is also passionate about the pro-life movement, volunteering with a local group called the Helpers of God's Precious Infants NJ, and freelances for pro-life online sites.